More of my story unfolds….
I meet “April” for the late night walk she asked for all the time my heart hoping that she was coming back to me. As we drove to the spot I had picked to walk and talk I could see the way she was looking at me, I could see the love and the pain in her eyes all the time I could feel the anxiety resonating from her like a crushing weight, as if she was stuck at the bottom of the ocean. I tell her there is something for her in the glove box, she opens it to find an Orange & Sparkling Water, two of her favourite things. her face lights up the only thing missing was an avocado then we would have had a real party.
We Begin to walk and I start to get her to open up and the more she tells me about “Jay” the more I realise he is a controlling, manipulating deleterious little prick and it angers me. We stop by the lake and she looks into my eyes I can see everything and I say to her “you wouldn’t be here if there wasn’t something missing, why won’t you stop playing games and just be with me” her answer “I’m afraid of how he will react and this whole situation is a mess” I pull her close and hold her tight, I want to be her pillar of strength, I want to be there for her so she can draw the strength she needs to break away because she was not happy and was being broken bit by bit.
Seeing this infuriated me, I felt an unstoppable rage building which I pushed down deep because that was a part of myself I left behind a long time ago. “April” opened up and began to tell me everything about “Jay” how he acted, how he made her feel, and I could see how he was controlling her. She admitted to me that everything I had said about him being a rebound and all the feelings of love she had for me being attached to him because they had to go somewhere and yet I could still feel she felt some sense of loyalty to him because he gave her what I didn’t at the time, yet everything he claimed to Love her for he was trying to change.
As we stand by the river she looks into my eyes and kisses me, just like that all the emotion I was trying to keep buried and deep residing in a dark place in my heart comes streaming back like a shooting star across the sky.
We walk back to my car as a chilling wind began to stir, as we walked back I reach for her hand and she clasps my hand with no hesitation. I ask her more questions about “Jay” and she tells me even more, the image of a bully comes to my mind I know I have to get through to her to be strong enough to break away from him. We reach my car and I pull out a blanket for her and we sit together cuddled up and I could feel her relax and let go of any fears she has.
Then a sudden clarity hits her, she sits up and says “I know what I have to do” my advice was to speak to “Kain” he had been becoming increasing angry and people did not know why… I knew it was because he could see his Daughter who he loved with everything being broken and changed. I knew the advice from him would help her regain some of her strength that was being drained by “Jay”.
As we leave I reach for her hand again and she once again takes mine without hesitation and I see a smile I’ve not see in a long time a smile that meant she was happy. This gave me more strength to keep fighting for her. We arrived at mine and I said we can walk around the corner to her car “you’re not going to drive me to my car!?” she says I was puzzled as it was about a 30 second walk away, as we got out of the car I saw her change and become a broken shell of who she was….. she was scared encase she was seen by someone who knew “Jay” and told him.
I take her to her can and reiterate the fact that this needs to end, she needs to tell “Kain” as this will help her gain strength to keep going.
As she drives off I walk back to my house, through everything I had that first bitter taste of hope that I would be able to do enough to prove to her just how much I love her…..