Sun & Sand

By now I am sure you have formed a picture/opinion in your head of my and I would think it goes something along the lines of “What an ass hole” to be perfectly honest I would agree, yet I still could not stop how I felt so here is a little more of the story.

More time passed at work and I grew even closer to “April” I don’t know what prompted me to ask “April” to spend a day with me but it just seemed very natural and even though I should have felt guilty I didn’t. We arranged to spend a day together and it took us to the beach because we could just walk, talk and enjoy each others company, the time seemed to pass without either of us noticing or in fact even caring.

We walked from one end to the other and back again eventually sitting down on a bench overlooking the sea where we continued to talk about yet more random things, I found myself just looking into her eyes and it literally took my breath away. I had a thousand thoughts running through my head my heart was racing and there was nothing I could do about it, I had not felt like this before and all I could see was “April” staring back at me it was like I could see into her and knew everything she was thinking which meant if I could see that then she could see it in me too.

I had a choice to either break eye contact and continue talking or I could do what I wanted to do and kiss her… Even knowing the potential repercussions I chose to give in to my feelings and kiss her.

I should have felt guilty knowing that this was wrong because I was with “Kat” but that was far from what I felt. I felt elated and like I was on cloud nine all of my logic was telling me to stop but my heart told me otherwise and I had never had this feeling before and what are you supposed to do? life your life settling for what you think you want or do you take a chance for what you know you really want,  I knew instantly that I wanted to take a massive leap of faith for this girl.

The day had been a roller coaster of emotion and thoughts, after I took her home I found myself thinking about her even more than I already was and things where about to get very complicated.